That’s the worst case scenario. Next on the list are your random home-grown YAMs who seem to enjoy tormenting girls by refusing to enter into intelligent conversation with them. Instead, they’ll mutter such marvels of thought as “Yah,” “Nah”, “I guess”, “Sure”, “Bye”, and then pull out their game-loaded, gizmo-gadget cell phone and start plugging away at it! When there is more than one of them in the same room, they are even more intolerable. They start making imbecilic jokes, jumping on each other’s heads like Billy-goats, swinging around blunt objects, and behaving like juvenile delinquents fresh out of kindergarten. All logic and yearning to pursue the finer things in life seem to vanish in a twinkling. In short, they become neanderthals.
Moving on, we come to the intellect YAMs who have an encyclopedic attitude towards life in general and girls especially. They seek to “analyze” the female species from a distance, and yet show a serious lack in social graces when they actually interact with them. Their perspective on romance is a black-and-white textbook diagram strictly designed to avoid unpleasant encounters. Sometimes they get so caught up in their own contemplations, that polite conversation gets bogged down in the morass of their minds and it takes great determination on the part of the other party to stick with it and stay on even footing.
Next, we come to the talky-talky YAMs who think they are king of the hill. They suffer from the “Big Man Syndrome” and want to prove their manliness by showing off and exagerating their circumstances. They say they want to emmerse themselves in guts and glory, watching violent films and wrestling around because they claim it's “a guy thing.” This attitude often comes off as rather annoying and lacking in sensitivity. I will grant that boys have a different make-up than girls and are naturally more aggressive. But I don’t think that being highly combative is necessarily “a guy thing”; it’s all in the personality type. Furthermore, I think they misread the female mind many times by trying to be excessively “macho” as opposed to more genteel and understanding.
Then, finally, we meet the friendly, intellectual, polite, and thoroughly delightful YAM….who is sadly undependable. It’s a hit-and-miss operation; first you see them, then you don’t. They mean well, but they have so much on their plate they can’t keep with it all. Hence, instead of merely communicating less, they often drop off contact all together and it becomes a pleasant rarity when you finally relocate them for a brief spat. Trying to get them involved in long-term projects is usually a futile effort. They are a bit like puppies to which you throw a stick, but something along the route catches their attention and they bound after it instead of bringing back the stick.
Now I’m not saying that the young men who fit into the categories above are “bad kids”. Even the first category often consists of those who simply lack love in their lives and are seeking it in all the wrong places as our modern society dictates. I remember once encountered a black-clad, earring-wearing youth in an antique mall when we both started studying an old guitar standing up in a booth. I was intimidated by him at first, but then we casually struck up a conversation, and he surprised me by being much friendlier than his appearance would have had me believe. It made me feel sad, because I could tell he was something of a lost soul. There are many others like him.
The bad-attitude Billy-goats, the black-and-white intellectuals, the guts-and-glory warriors, and the puppies-after-a-stick usually have good hearts, too. They just get caught up in either themselves or their surroundings and forget that other people are observing them....especially the ladies! Okay, so maybe I expect too much. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead. Supposedly, girls mature faster than boys. But somehow I just can't picture these guys "maturing" in less than a decade, which is when most of them will be off and married. I can't help but wonder about my prospects for finding a soul-mate.
All girls, no matter who they are, day-dream about Mr. Right. It makes sense; after all, unless we plan on joining a convent or something, we are going to have to tie the knot with someone and hunker down for better or worse. We might as well try to figure the type with whom we can be most compatible as a spouse. The results of these contemplations for many girls often turn into a composite character of Robin Hood, Aragorn, King Aruthur, and few hundred others that randomly come to mind. For me, there is something a definite shape coming to mind about the type of man I would like to share my life with someday.
First and foremost, I want to marry a practicing Catholic, orthodox in his beliefs, but not too far to the right or left. I want him to have a devotion to Our Lady and the Saints as well the Sacraments. I would also like him to be a political conservative, but also with a true sympathy for the plight of the poor. I would like him to be passionate in his love of country and devotion to good causes. I would want him to love history and view it with a balanced perspective. His love of all things British, I hope, would match my own. I also hope he would like animals and nature, as I do, but also be understanding about my allergies!
I would want him to be on good terms with my parents since I am an only child and we have a very close-knit relationship. I would also hope he would be open to starting a small family of our own, but be understanding about my own health conditions and my inability to cope with a large family. I would also hope he would be understanding my own modest sensibilities and respect them. Personality wise, I would like him to be kind-hearted, humble, considerate, balanced, and intellectually-minded. On the flip side of the coin, I would like him to be passionate about the fight against evil in this world and courageous when called to stand up for the truth. Also, I would like him to be a responsible worker, but also know how to enjoy light-hearted fun. As a wife, I would have to learn to give back the fullness of my love and be considerate to the needs of my husband. That's not even counting all the effort that goes into running a house and raising a family! It comes down to giving all I can, as best I can.
So these are dreams that dance in my brain every now and again. I know full well that no man in the world will ever be perfect nor fill every desire in my heart. That place is rightly set aside for Our Lord Jesus Christ alone. However, I do believe that having a soul-mate, joined in purpose and love with you, is one of the most beautiful things on earth. So pray for me in my journey to seek out my vocation, and I will do the same for all of you on the same path.